Steve Long 2010

I 4qated a day late this year, but better late than never I feel. The pressure of work done with for the weekend I used the Slickman technique of more or less random selection. I has preselected Riddley Walker, and was delighted to come upon this in the first page I looked at:

Persoon Eusa comes up agen this time hes got like a iron hat on his head. 2 long wires coming out of the top of the hat and littl pegs on the ends of the wires. Plus there’s a cranking handl on the side of the iron hat. Eusas trying to shift some kynd of a box its biggern he is. He gets the box heavit up on to the show board. He says, ‘Hoo! Thats a hevvy 1.’ Theres a cranking handl on the side of the box as the 1 on Eusas hat, 2 littl hoals and a slot in the top of the box and a nother slot in 1 end of it.

Eusa sya, ‘2 heads are bettern 1.’ He takes them 2 wires coming out of his hat and he pegs them in to the hoals in the box. He says, ‘Now Iwl jus input a few littl things in to my No. 2 head.’ Hes terning that crank on his iron
hat. Rrrrrrrrrrrr.

Eusa says, ‘Now les see if it works.’ He takes a peace of paper and he says out loud what hes writing on it; ‘Whats my name?’ He puts the peace of paper in the slot in the top of the box he says, ‘Now les see it you can anser
that.’

Eusa terns the crank on the side of the box and a peace of paper comes out of the slot in the end of the box. Theres writing on the paper. Eusa reads it out; ‘My name is Eusa.’

Eusa says ‘Thats the ticket.’ Hes terning the crank on his iron hat some mor then. Hes inputting all kynds of knowing out of his head in to the box.

Mr Clevver comes up and hes watching Eusa and lissening to him. Eusas mummeling all kynds of numbers and formlers it souns like hes inputting all the knowing there ever ben in the woal worl out of his head in to that box. Hes saying the Nos. of the rain bow and the fire quanter hes saying the smallering Nos. and the biggering Nos. plus it souns like hes saying some thing about the 1 big 1. Mr Clevver hes leaning closer and closer hes lissening lissening.

Mr Clevver he says to Eusa, ‘Thats a guvner lot of knowing youre inputting in to that box parbly theres knowing a nuff in there for any kynd of thing.’

Eusa says, ‘That’s about it. I dont think theres many things you cudnt do with that knowing. You cud do any thing at all you cud make boats in the air or you cud blow the worl a part.’

Mr Clevver says, ‘Scatter my datter that cernly is intersting. Eusa tel me some thing tho. Whyd you input all that knowing out of your head in to that box? Whynt you keep it in your head wunt it be safer there?’

- from Riddley Walker

I added a few explanatory words at the bottom and took the yellow paper with me to Milton Keynes theatre to see the Matthew Bourne production of Swan Lake. We arrived quite early and I left the yellow paper in the foyer by a rail close to a stand carrying publicity leaflets for future shows. My mother-in-law was with us when I dropped the yellow paper, I thought she would be puzzled as to what was going on but she said she has "been on one of these before"! I can't remember which...

Best wishes to all,

Steve